I always thought that by the time I reached my 50s, I would be sorted – confident, wise, accepting of who I was and what I looked like, and maybe even love myself a little. Instead, I have been moody, mad and

Today I woke with a start, sat bolt upright, and cried and cried and cried. This was not a good way to start the day and I decided that I would like to resign. Not from my job.  From the menopause.  It

Today I have bright eyes and a bushy tail. Being bright-eyed and bushy-tailed is far from my norm and when it occurs, I am thrilled.  In celebration, I ate a small chocolate croissant – un pain au chocolat.  Pains au chocolat are

Today I woke up with periods on my mind.  Metaphorically speaking. And it got me thinking how little I know about those, too.   Bullet 4 Period – Aka the decorators are in. That time of the month when a woman (or

Today I woke with a question, and my question was this. When did it all begin? It occurred to me that I cannot tell you when my menopause started, not because it’s a secret but because I don’t know. And I can’t

Today I will not be going out.  Oddly, I have been drawn to sitting indoors and making a list of menopausal symptoms instead – the main reason being that I would like to establish how S for sorry for myself I should

Today I decided that being a menopausal woman is a very confusing thing to be, as you simply do not know how you’re going to feel at any given time.  I am caught in an endless state of ever-changing moods and often

Today I am not in a good mood.  I did not sleep well and I am very menopausally tired.   That said, I am grateful to not be feeling blue, too.  Tired and blue is hard when they land together and I would

Today I am thinking of my mum and the unique specimen that she is.  She is a form of super-mum and made of different stuff from most. In summary, she a) is nicely balanced and b) manages life extraordinarily well. Mum is

Today I woke up wanting to talk about beards.  Not the fashionable type sported by men – a different type of beard.   As a side note, I am still not sure how I feel about man beards and wonder if they are

Last night I had an unexpected menopausal sex talk with my friend Maggie. I don’t often talk sex, and on those rare occasions when I do, it’s surface stuff – not very deep, and not very penetrating.  I have a friend or

Today I want to touch on anxiety and that’s because it’s a biggie.  It can be brought on by the menopause, as can panic attacks.  Neither is a barrel of laughs.  I met with my friend Dana recently and we talked about

Today I received an email from my friend Sandy.  She is one of my favourites.  We met over twenty years ago in a chic part of London and have been close ever since. Sandy is a fair bit younger than I am, but

Today I had a ‘literal’ moment – that thing when you interpret something literally and exactly as it’s not meant to be. I call them ‘my literals’.  As an example, I recall having to write an essay in school called, ‘It Never

Today I went to see a consultant regarding a health matter.  It was not a ‘womanly’ matter but rather a check on another part of my female anatomy.  This was the first time I had seen the consultant and with that being

Today I got an early morning text from Mandy. “Do you know what time it is?” I messaged back.  Mandy is my friend from the US, and she is five hours behind.  That means when it’s 7am for me, it is 2am

Today I concluded that what I find hardest about my menopausal mood is that it likes to sway. Back and forth Back and forth Back and forth One minute I am happy, and the next I am sad.  The next I am

Today I learned about eggs – and not of the cream variety.  As a side note, I love cream eggs and I wish I could eat one right now. What I learned today is that women are born with a specific number

Today was a miserable and moody day.  I woke up that way.  Last night we arrived back from Denmark, my husband and I.  I like saying ‘my husband and I’.  I feel like I’m giving the Christmas speech and it makes me

Today I ate some scrambled egg.  Whilst I adore scrambled egg, I don’t adore ‘scrambled-egg-head’ ─ one of my most dreaded menopausals.  Today I had both.  I was staying in Battersea with my friend Delia who is also menopausal.  Harry (as in

Today I saw my friend Jenna for tea. Jenna lives around the corner from me, which, in principle, is fun.  It’s nice to have a friend who lives close by, as it means you can pop in and pop out.  Plus it

Today I woke up feeling like a crab.  I felt dizzy and was walking sideways. I don’t recall crabs being on the official list of menopause symptoms ─ whether of the ‘beach’ variety or the ‘downstairs’ kind.  Maybe I had invented something

Today I am thinking of my friend Michelle, who tragically lost her life to breast cancer 2 years ago. She had an adoring husband and three cool kids who she loved to the moon and back.   If ever there was a

Today was my sister’s 50th birthday and her present was a badge ─ a ‘f*ck f*ck f*ckety f*ck’ badge.  I bought other things too but this was by far my favourite.  Hers too. It was a simple pin-on badge with a black

Today I woke up with a headache over my right eye. I had ‘ice cream eye’ without the ice cream.  Could it be a brain tumour? This was not good. Being on the menopause can give you anxiety thinking. Life is not

Today I forgot a work call and I was far from impressed. I am ‘Madame Extraordinaire’ when it comes to efficiency (workplace only) but today I am not.  Today I am ‘Madame Menopause’ instead. My work is administrative and figurative ─ as

I always thought that by the time I reached my 50s, I would be sorted – calm, happy and accepting of who I was and maybe even love myself a little. Instead, I have been moody, mad and miserable – or MMM, as

Today was a banking day.  These are not my favourite days.  I am lazy when it comes to banking. I am lazy with petrol, too. I am lazy with a lot of things, bar the things I like to do. I have

Today I met up with my friend Heidi for coffee. Actually, it was green tea, but I like to refer to it as coffee even though I don’t drink coffee and haven’t done so in more than a decade. Heidi is 58

Today I want to talk a bit about moods albeit not in the usual way. Recently, I learned that we experience life not from the outside but from the inside.  It’s an inside job. I was both shocked and surprised (or SAS